for a long time now i feel like i have been stranded in a waiting room at the doctor's office. can you picture it? the wooden furniture, the outdated magazines, the phone-answering-facebook-scowering-receptionist with her glasses, the smell, the toys in the corner for the kids to play with?

well. today, i finally got to actually visit the doctor. it wasn't that i had to wait my turn. it wasn't that there was a long line. and it wasn't that my insurance had to go through first. i just wasn't ready to see the doctor yet.

but, today i was finally ready to see the doctor. i was ready to see the doctor because i was ready and willing to practice what the doctor was going to tell me to do. i told the doctor, once again, what was hurting. i explained why i wanted it to stop. and he told me what i could do. it was straightforward. it wasn't nebulous. it was even through a medium i have spent loads of my life pouring over. in fact, i am POSITIVE i have heard the advice before. but, guess what. i was NOT ready to hear it, or else i would have.

i don't know what i did different, or what i changed inside. what i do know is that all i can say is wow.